This is a Sick Joke (Say It Ain’t So)

There are some things you really don’t want to learn by text message.

Each delay between messages is too long, not to mention the trend these days of sending fragments of your message a piece at a time (yeah, sure, it’s totally just building suspense…). I don’t normally share this sort of personal thing, but here’s the roller coaster ride I just got strapped into without warning.

I’m still reeling….

——–

HER:

I remember my dad telling me distance only makes the heart grow stronger… or something along those lines.

 ME:

Absence makes the heart grow fonder? 

HER:

Yes, that. 

 ME:

Haha it’s a good saying, but it depends on how strong you feel and how mature you are – absence can also make the heart sluttier but I don’t think that one applies to you.

HER: 

I did do a bad thing though…

 

The night after you left.

 

I was afraid to tell you

 

I still feel dirty.

ME:

Don’t be – just be honest. 

HER:

I was gonna wait until you got back but…

ME:

Hey – relax and just say what you need to say.

HER:

I don’t want to ruin us.

ME: 

If you keep a secret that eats you up like this it will ruin us. All I ever asked of you is to be honest with me.

So be brave.

HER:

Okay. 

Hear me out please…

 ME:

Go on – I won’t interupt.

HER:

OK well…

 

After you left

 

I just had this urge

 

I told myself I’d wait for you

 

But I couldn’t do it

 

So

 

Late that night

 

I snuck out

 

And well

 

I went to Five Guys.

 

I brought it back to my place and watched It’s Always Sunny.

 

I’m sorry.

ME:

I just need a minute.

 

This is a lot to take in.

HER:

I still feel so dirty.

 

But it wasn’t the same without you.

 

I’ll never do it again I swear.

ME:

I thought what we had was special? How could you?

HER:

I have needs!!

ME:

I think we should eat different food for awhile – then we can talk about ‘us’.

HER:

I guess. If you think it’s for the best…

ME:

I do – I just need some time. I need to figure out if I can forgive you.

HER:

Jokes aside, I really did feel dirty.

ME:

Jokes aside, you’re the worst!

——

Credit where it’s due – She had me going for a while there. What kind of monster does that in the middle of the night? I’m really hungry now….

Listening To: Candy Coated Fury – Reel Big Fish

Image Source: Google Images

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